“I am a disabled bisexual woman. I’d like to talk a bit about how gender ideology and being a biological woman affects each of these aspects of my life.
I have been disabled all of my life and started seeking support online a number of years ago. It didn’t take long for me to notice a trend. The majority of disabled influencers are female and almost all of them identify as either she/they or they/them. Trans ideology is also pushed HARD and you are expected to accept it without question. This is something I have a problem with because we are supposed to be learning to accept our disabilities as a part of us whereas trans ideology is all about changing yourself while masquerading as acceptance. This has had a huge impact on the disability community and you are excommunicated if you don’t say the chant.
I will not say the chant.
Being disabled I am already so dehumanized and so often defined by my body parts so when terms like “uterus haver” and “bleeders” started popping up I expected outrage from the disability community but the women I followed–many with female issues–accepted it without question to “be kind”.
I left that community.
As for being bisexual–what do you mean? There is no such thing as bisexual anymore because there are more than two sexes! And to say otherwise will have you branded as transphobic and you will be denied your rainbow card. I have and am still losing a vital part of my socializing–dating and a sex life–because of these stigmas. I don’t date because if I go home with a woman I want to know I am going home with a woman and I am not a bigot for that.
Recently I was banned from a group for a women’s fashion I partake in. This fashion was created in Japan in the 70s when a woman’s role in life was to get married. So some got together and created this fashion specifically designed to be unattractive to men and to avert the male gaze. Because of this, here in America it became a safe space for women, especially sexual assault and harassment survivors like myself. Now these groups are banning survivors like me who believe there are two sexes while allowing in men who “identify” as women. You either speak up or pretend like the male gaze isn’t there.
They learned that I was speaking up.
Lastly, I’d really like to talk about bathrooms. I recently saw a video of a nonbinary activist saying he can’t go into a men’s toilet dressed the way he is because it wouldn’t be safe. How come, when this man says it, he is touted as a hero but when thousands of women say it we’re bigots? People laugh when I say this but women’s toilets ARE safe spaces. I cannot count the amount of times I have had to step into a bathroom to escape harassment from a man or to hide from a stalker. Or to step in and cry because I’m afraid to go home. Or to take off my underwear and tights to wash them at the sink because my period bled through. I don’t want a man in there while I’m doing that whatever he “identifies” as and he shouldn’t want to be in there while I’m doing that.
I am not a Nazi for wanting to be safe and have privacy. Because of my disabilities, there is no such thing as a quick in ‘n out when it comes to going to the toilet.
I do believe this is a war but I also believe that our voices are our most powerful weapon. I implore you, even if all you have to say is, “I deserve to pee without fear,” come up and say it.
It has taken me 30 years and almost 10 years of therapy to realize that I have a voice and that I can use it when I see something wrong.
Don’t wait that long.
Now is the time.”
-Goth Grrl speech at Let Women Speak USA, Tacoma, 26 Oct 2022
*Reprinted with permission. You can find Goth Grrl’s substack .
*Reprinted with permission. You can find Goth Grrl’s substack .